Late Night thoughts

I've been reclining, sort of retreating from a day of boredom. Now I start to wonder what I have done throughout the day, and even throughout my life. I think that it's safe to say that I have succeeded in some aspects of my life. In many others I have failed. I want to focus on what I have done right, but the accidents and disabilities of mine are too much to bear. My nature is to fail, but not to desire failure. This is unexplainable, but it does develope trust inside me. Trust of a greater God. Trust the even though I have bit the dust, I am pulled back to my feet, dusted off, and encouraged to keep running. It's my desire to run the race, to live it out. I want to be so loud in my actions, that its unmistakable. Who has seen me live? If I live for that, I would keep seeing failure. I must keep my focus on living for Christ. I cannot let what other people see affect what God sees in me. It's still hard to live like that in light of my failure. I pray that my failures teach me, and my successes encourage me. I pray. I run. I Live. I live out loud, with no restraints anymore. I must not keep to myself.